You are hereNew Movie Reviews / CONTAGION - Aka...Ode To The 99 Percent

CONTAGION - Aka...Ode To The 99 Percent


By King Hippo - Posted on 28 November 2011


An ensemble cast comes to grips with a deadly worldwide viral pandemic? Really? I guess the producers and writers of this movie missed The Andromeda Strain and I Am Legend and Outbreak and 28 Days Later and Cabin Fever and Carriers, et al, etc., ad nauseum.

Good grief, I thought Jews were innovators and entertainers, not just money hungry vultures...and Jesus murderers. Pontius Pilate…my ass!!


I just couldn't understand the "critics" fawning all over this regurgitated shitpile with accolades of "intricate plotlines"and "sublime acting performances." Really? When the best acting job in the movie is turned in by octogenarian Elliot Gould, you can save your witless praises for brain dead morons like Dan Cedar and Lady Spamalot, who are only too grateful to lick your asses then ask for seconds.

When King Hippo finally DOES go Ass to Mouth…It won’t be with Elliot Fucking Gould.


Actually, there are some accurate representations in this movie. 1) Lawrence Fishburne as the director of the CDC who uses his authority position to whisk his wife out of harm's way before a quarantine of the Twin Cities is enforced. Very realistic - it shows how government elitist scumbags get preferential treatment over the proletariat. 2)Jude Law as the whistle blowing lib blogger from England who not only shows his true colors as a self-serving lying piece of shit liberal cock sucker but also proves his Limey provenance with horrible dental work. 3) Gwyneth Paltrow as a typical junior executive on an international business trip making a quick "stopover" in Chicago to fuck her previous boyfriend. Oh, and she's only been married to current dolt husband, Matt Damon, for a little over a year. She's the Typhoid Mary to start the disease internationally.

Serves the whore right.

Hopefully, she’ll serve as a model for you filthy, neophytes currently occupying Wall Street.

Hey Assholes…it’s simple: Rinse, Lather, and Repeat until you get the scum off!!! Pull out the Razor. Shave off about 99% of that fucking hair you have. Ask daddy to pay off your student loans like the rest of us. And keep some extra cash so that you can buy a suit prior to your interview. Oh, and another thing…you might want to show some respect to the guy that is going to hire you. Which in turn may help you get off the government dole and get a job that PAYS for your health insurance so that you can afford to take your Valtrex on a semi-regular basis.

It’s for your herpes – dimwit. It is a viral disease, causing cold sores or shingles. It can be transmitted sexually, in public places and by air.

And “NO!! Even then…King Hippo is NOT LICKING YOUR ASS, EITHER!!

With my luck - you will skip a pill and be in the middle of an anal flare up!!!

This movie does tend to make one hypersensitive about "germs" and other people around you. Case in point: King Hippo was tearing into some popcorn - three quarters of the way through the movie and, as usual, a wayward kernel "went down the wrong pipe." This started the inevitable cascade of gagging and uncontrollable coughing which caused six of the patrons of this movie to go scurrying out the door like rats caught in a flood...Or hypochondriacs trying to avoid the next "bird flu" epidemic. So even though the movie wasn't particularly entertaining, King Hippo entertained himself by cutting the movie short for several paying customers.


*Fingers tented in an 'A' frame*
"Excellent"

I hope that every last one of you gets herpes at OCCUPY ASS CHEEK!!!!

Three Naybobs
King Hippo

Movie Rating System

Search

Cool Site of the Day!



We are proud to be the Cool Site of the Day!

Vote for us in the voting frame at Cool Site of the Day!

In The News

PALIN PLANS FOR FUTURE - MONEY SHOT!!

Wasilla, AK - Today, soon to be ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, announced more specifics on her puzzling decision to step down from her role as governor of Alaska.

Appearing at a press conference, that was ripe with double entendre, and fully heightened in four inch red, high heels, a black pleather mini-skirt and a white, ruffled, half-unbuttoned blouse – “Caribou Barbie” as some have dubbed her, came out with ordnance ablaze.

more...