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Cracker Barrel Restaurants To Begin Serving Negroes

By Ian Specter - Posted on 15 December 2009

Alabaster, AL - On the heels of declining sales for the last 4 quarters, Cracker Barrel announced its intention to start serving African Americans. Cracker Barrel CEO Jasper "Bubba" Norris made the surprising revelation shortly after a contentious board of directors meeting.

When asked to elaborate on the board's decision to end their decade’s long policy of refusing service to people of color, Norris took a pragmatic approach. "We're a very traditional, Christian, and family-oriented business headquartered in the Deep South.”

“Therefore, our previous policies had been implemented to assure a pleasant and safe dining environment. We can't have people smoking crack in the bathrooms, or pulling knives on the wait staff for their tips, or rampant shoplifting in our gift shops. It just goes totally against what Cracker Barrel built its reputation on."

"Conversely, the current economic climate has forced our hand with respect to keeping the Cracker Barrel a going concern. In a word, Cracker Barrel is hurting financially."

Norris further explained that the new policy would take effect on September 22, 2010 in homage to the nation's anniversary of The Emancipation Proclamation. Norris stated further that “a restaurant divided against itself can not stand.”

Asked what exactly would ensue when the new policies were implemented, Norris explained that besides serving African Americans, the menu would be revamped. "Out of respect to our new guests, 'Blackened' dishes will no longer be offered. Similarly, 'Black Cow' milkshakes and 'Black Angus' steaks will be removed from the menu. Also, with respect to our mulatto guests, the chocolate/vanilla swirl soft serve machine will be set strictly to either vanilla or chocolate as will the dining rooms, naturally. We will also discontinue serving 'half & half' milk.”

A final query was posed to Norris as he prepared to leave the meeting: on this historic day. Will the Cracker Barrel also rescind its policy barring homosexuals and Jews from its restaurants? With a chuckle and in his deep southern drawl, Norris replied, "Now Ian, I said the Cracker Barrel was hurting. I didn't say it was desperate."

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