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LAW ABIDING CITIZEN - AKA…Just Try Fucking With King Hippo


By King Hippo - Posted on 15 December 2009

Just when you start to tire of the repetitive Hollywood dogshit, a heart warming "feel good" movie redeems the entire past year of wasted celluloid.

No, you thumb sucking, four eyed retard –
NOT Forrest Gump,
NOT The Blind Side,
NOT Radio, or any such family circle jerkery.

I'm talkin' 'bout a REAL "feel good" movie - Law Abiding Citizen.

By the way – if you like an ending or don’t like the word “Scum’,‘Scumbag’, ‘Scumbuket’ or ‘Tinkerer’…
You are going to have a REAL problem with this review.
Start counting SCUMBAG!

Gerard Butler stars as Clyde Shelton, a kindly "tinkerer" who, we find out later, works for the federal government. And no, he's not a "tinkerer" in the sense that Old Dan Cedar is a "tinkerer" when he gets around under aged altar boys.

Anyway, his family is brutally murdered right in front of him -as he is left for dead by a couple of typical scum sucking street rats during a home invasion.

Unlike, say, a home invasion when King Hippo is chillin'.

You fucking welfare trash will leave my crib in a black giant Ziploc bag with .40 caliber Hydrashok slugs lodged in every orifice of your worthless carcass which will only be found after rotting in my basement – several years down the road.

God bless the vigilante and God bless the local police department that spends the majority of its time and energy dispensing tickets and raising municipal capital for 31mph in a 20mph zone – and not looking for missing vagrants!

Clyde meets with Assistant DA (Jamie Foxx), who, in typical liberal fashion, makes agreements with murderers, rapists, and child molesters so he can pad his "conviction" resume and quickly climb the political ladder of government power. Bad guy? Well, maybe…check back later.

Clyde was perfectly willing to let the cards fall where they may, but wanted the main scumbucket tried with the death penalty on the table. Anyway, after Clyde recovers, he is shocked to find out that the hanger-on is going to meet his maker. But the real scumbag - #2 copped a plea and will only serve a few years for the murders of his wife and daughter.

During the next 10 years that the Scumbag is incarcerated we find out that Clyde is much more than a kindly tinkerer.

In other words, DON"T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG TRASH! OR YOU WILL FIND OUT WHAT A POWER DRILL AND A CIRCULAR SAW CAN DO TO YOUR WORTHLESS WASTE OF SUBHUMAN FLESH!

Without divulging the gruesome details, let's just say that King Hippo was loudly cheering in the theater as the scumbag got a first hand lesson in vivisectioning. Luckily, Pee-Wee and I were the only glad-fisters in the theatre, and he’s not talking.

The scene stealer of the whole movie, however, was when Clyde was defending himself at the initial hearing and was arguing for bail to an obvious liberal judge who was about to actually grant said bail - until Clyde, basically called her a cock sucking, liberal, dog-shit stupid, know-nothing cunt. Finally, a man who has the courage of his convictions and doesn’t have to stand behind a faceless pen name on a ridiculously incoherent website.

But, I digress - this is the gist of this movie - whether you liked it or not - the U.S. justice system is the most fucked up, worthless, convoluted, retarded system of justice in the world.

King Hippo says "AMEN!"

This is the system where the worst scumbags on the face of the earth walk free, or do minimal time, has the best health and dental care while incarcerated. Gets three squares a day. Has weights to work out with. Has basketball and hand ball courts. Has track fields and cable TV.

And guess who pays for it?

YOU DO Country Joe !

Guess who actually does hard time for crimes in this country?

Joe Blow who smuggled in an endangered parrot from Mexico - 20 years federal prison!

Joe Jackoff who had gun parts for an M-16 which could make it fully automatic - 30 years federal prison!

Joe Alcoholic who got his third DWI but never actually caused an accident or hurt anyone while drunk –
10 years!

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

God bless the American justice system and the cock sucking ACLU lawyers!

You want an ending?
Here's to Joel and Ethan Coen!!
King Hippo also rules HIS country with NO endings!!

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