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November 2011


PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 - Aka...How NOT To Shoot A Porno sticky icon


*GROAN*

What possesses King Hippo to continue seeing these nausea fests? Is it his penchant for self-inflicted S&M? Or is it a substitute for high colonics and anorexia? Has he found the magic bullet for his chronic insomnia? Why is The King referring to himself in the third person? Could it be that he is possessed by an evil entity?

IDES OF MARCH - Aka...Invasion Of The Body Snatchers sticky icon

This movie brought to mind the great paranoid horror movie of 1956 – Invasion of the Body Snatchers written by the great Jack Finney who would have been 100 years old this year.

At first sniff - the movies don’t seem to be related.

Body Snatchers is about aliens taking over the earth with pods. Kevin McCarthy’s character ‘Miles’ is desperately trying to save and warn everyone in the fictional town of Santa Mira that there is no hope. But the towns people are just mindless pods trying to serve their alien brethren because their bodies are needed for the alien power grab.

On to Ides of March – where we’re through the looking glass, Alice.

And there is no turning back. Abraham Lincoln doesn’t live here anymore. Evil is everywhere today. There is no Emancipation Proclamation to be used as a moral guide. There is no Civil War to separate good versus evil. There is no constitutional amendment that congress can use to assert right and wrong.

CONTAGION - Aka...Ode To The 99 Percent sticky icon


An ensemble cast comes to grips with a deadly worldwide viral pandemic? Really? I guess the producers and writers of this movie missed The Andromeda Strain and I Am Legend and Outbreak and 28 Days Later and Cabin Fever and Carriers, et al, etc., ad nauseum.

Good grief, I thought Jews were innovators and entertainers, not just money hungry vultures...and Jesus murderers. Pontius Pilate…my ass!!


I just couldn't understand the "critics" fawning all over this regurgitated shitpile with accolades of "intricate plotlines"and "sublime acting performances." Really? When the best acting job in the movie is turned in by octogenarian Elliot Gould, you can save your witless praises for brain dead morons like Dan Cedar and Lady Spamalot, who are only too grateful to lick your asses then ask for seconds.

When King Hippo finally DOES go Ass to Mouth…It won’t be with Elliot Fucking Gould.

Local Garage Owner in Hot Water Over Billing Discrepancies sticky icon


(San Leon, TX) - Kuntry Kar Kare owner Cletus Mulroney came under fire over the weekend as several irate customers filed complaints at the sheriff's office claiming that they were overcharged on their repair bills by the eighth generation mechanic whose family has become a county fixture since the early 1860's at the intersection of Duke Street and Byrd Avenue.

The first complainant to come forward was in June of 2011. Mr. Rufus “Dizzy” Gillespie of La Marque said that he was overcharged by 10.00 for a routine tire rotation. "You know, I thought something was funny when he (Mulroney) handed me the bill.The total was 29.99 but as I pointed out to him, right there under the 'Spooks Cleared - Inquire Within' sign, that he should have charged me 19.99. He claimed that extra parts were needed which caused the bill to increase, but for the life of me, I can't understand what extra parts he would need to do a simple tire rotation."

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In The News

PALIN PLANS FOR FUTURE - MONEY SHOT!!

Wasilla, AK - Today, soon to be ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, announced more specifics on her puzzling decision to step down from her role as governor of Alaska.

Appearing at a press conference, that was ripe with double entendre, and fully heightened in four inch red, high heels, a black pleather mini-skirt and a white, ruffled, half-unbuttoned blouse – “Caribou Barbie” as some have dubbed her, came out with ordnance ablaze.

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