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November 2012


LINCOLN - Aka…So, The Guy That Freed The Slaves was a Republican? sticky icon

So, you know these losers whose whole life is built around figuring out when the Stand Alone Moustache (SAM) is going to be revived? Like the good old days, in the 1970s, when all the cool kids and porn stars were doing it.

Well, at one time… your good friend and movie reviewer, Old Dan Cedar had this affliction. I held on to my SAM until mid-2002 when my “Title VII Boss” said, I “was still holding on to that 70’s Porn Look”.

Ashamed by my lack of hungliness and chest hair…I vowed to send SAM to the shower drain, until which time, the trend caught on again. Hey, I have always been a big fan of gospel, blues, jazz and Shaft, but I guess the 'Richard Roundtree' look wasn’t doing it for her anymore.

FLIGHT -…Aka Coffee, Tea, or Immelmann Rolls, Sir? sticky icon

Have you ever wondered about people that you know who function just fine even though they are raging alcoholics and/or drug addicts? You know… the fun/social/engaging person that always needs to be driven home after an evening at Katie's Bar, but come the next morning is raring to go.

You know, that certain "type A" personality who needs a pill to wake up, a pill to stay awake, a pill to go to sleep, a pill for aches and pain, a happy pill, a pill to get his dick hard,and several pills throughout the day to take care of his actual medical problems? And on top of that, mixing everything with healthy doses of alcohol and Red Bulls. Yeah, we all know people like this...some of us more intimately than others.


...And the question always nagging you in the back of your mind? "When...when...when is this jackass going to finally make a mistake and wake up to find that his dick doesn't get hard anymore on Mexican Viagra?

Well, strap in folks, as "Whip" Whitaker takes you on the airline ride of your life. Denzel Washington portrays our high functioning alcoholic commercial pilot in one of his better performances in recent memory. After a night of drinking and debauchery with flight attendant (I was going to use the word "stew" but this word is on editor Dan Cedar's PC "banned" list of words that feminist equate to the word "cunt") Nadine Velazquez.

HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET - Aka...The Sordid Upbringing Of Dan Cedar sticky icon

*Yawn*

Another"suspense-thriller"that is neither especially suspenseful nor thrilling. I guess the producers were banking on Jennifer Lawrence's (the daughter) name on the marquee to put this putrid mess in the black. On the bright side, all you MILF chasers will be happy to see that Elisabeth Shue has never looked better - yes, even compared to the Elisabeth Shue (the MILF Mom) of twenty years ago.

I know you Rubes watch her every Wednesday night on CSI. Your humble reviewer, King Hippo, prefers to pay for his clench-fisted jollies surrounded by other dolts that share my same public perversions. Whether it costs me $9.00 and a hand full of, soon to be, crusty napkins or not.

I am going to warn you that my review was hatcheted by Old Dan Cedar because I wanted to storyboard the entire movie. This went to about 7,000 words, so my apologies for my lack of details….Spoiler Alert: I am going to go through this entire review without mentioning some hot chick and give her five Naybobs at the end of my review.

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In The News

PALIN PLANS FOR FUTURE - MONEY SHOT!!

Wasilla, AK - Today, soon to be ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, announced more specifics on her puzzling decision to step down from her role as governor of Alaska.

Appearing at a press conference, that was ripe with double entendre, and fully heightened in four inch red, high heels, a black pleather mini-skirt and a white, ruffled, half-unbuttoned blouse – “Caribou Barbie” as some have dubbed her, came out with ordnance ablaze.

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