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BLACK SWAN - Aka...Dream Fuck - Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis


By Old Dan Cedar - Posted on 23 December 2010

I must say that every brown-shirted neo-Nazi that I have run into in the greater Chicago metro - over the last month was fired-up to see to so-called “steaming lesbian scene” with the hottest Jews in Hollywood – Natalie Portman vs. Mila Kunis. Aaaaooowww!!

Hot Jews Gone Wild!

Not so fast – Colonel Klink. It’s about as exciting as watching a couple of scantily-clad hens dry-hump down at Heinrich Himmler’s chicken ranch. And no, not the one in Nevada. And go ahead and unpop your monocle – It ain’t The Auschwitz Ballet either, you sadistic, babbling idiot.

The story – Good Jewish Ballerina (Portman) is trying to get in touch with her “naughty” side while tossing salads with the Bad Jewish Ballerina (Kunis). The ballet they are performing is, of course, Swan Lake.

How about this for a Spoiler alert – THERE IS NO NUDITY!!

NOT EVEN A FUCKING NIPPLE !!

Portman brings to the movie - her anorexically doe-eyed jizz palette, nicely contrasted with the heterochromeatic spunk craving - cleft-chinned Kunis - to the screen - directed by Darren Aronofsky, the Jewish fella that also made The Wrestler.

…and NO!! They don’t control the media, Klink!!

Normally, one would think that given this make-up – and the Oscar buzz - a hearty Jew Stew would be had by one and all. Alas, this is a rubber biscuit of a movie. And as all of true Blues Brothers fans know – that means – You Go Hungry!! Bow Bow Bow….

Back to the story - The Good White Jew Swan is trying to prove to her Swan Lake director that she can let go and be the Bad Black Jew Swan. She has a lot of “issues” that closely resemble many of the same issues of my highly unstable ex-wife. She has a stage mother that she resents. She cuts herself. Has some sort of eczema and is apparently out of cortisone cream - and to top it off she’s the most frigid Jew on this side of the Gaza Strip.

From there on it gets weirder and weirder. In the penultimate moment of the film, Portman begins pulling black feathers out of her back - just before aligning completely with the play, Swan Lake, and kills herself on stage.

Get it?

It’s supposed to be poetic. You know. The only way she can achieve becoming the black swan is by killing the white swan.

Which, I guess, makes all of you skinheads happy since there is one less Jew in the world?

If that was only the case…

It’s just a shitty movie, you neo-Nazi Bastards!!

And you can’t kill every Jew that ever made a bad movie – otherwise you’d have to re-open at least three of those old concentration camps and crank up the ovens!!

Like you weren’t planning that already….

Illinois Nazis….I hate Illinois Nazis!!

2 Naybobs

Old Dan Cedar

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