WHITE HOUSE DOWN - Aka...Ok, Let Me Get This Straight...The GOP Is The Greatest Risk To National Security? AH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!


First off, the ONLY reason I went to see this steaming pile of festering ape guano was that everyone I know who saw it recommended it wholeheartedly. This explains why King Hippo has such low tolerance to 90% of American and why I have so few friends - the population of complete IDIOTS that live in society! Hopefully, Channing Tatum resists trying to be typecast as the next Bruce Willis, as he's actually much more versatile than that. However, this movie could have just as easily been titled Die Hard 13.

The other clues that this movie was complete and utter fiction is that uber prick face Jamie Foxx is cast as the President of the United States, no doubt, to portray our current Tsar in Chief as someone actually heroic. Let me make this clear. Your humble servant, King Hippo, doesn’t mind having a black man in the White House. What I DO have a problem with is that OUR country will accept that this will happen, yet once again, in the next millennium…and now this is an accepted part of OUR society???

My God!!! Help us All!!! The END IS NIGH!!!

The second clue is that uber pig face Maggie Gyllenhaal is the head of the Secret Service. That dumb bitch couldn't be the head slop server in an elementary school cafeteria line. And I’m not just talking out of my ass. I did that job working my way through Texas Tech.

So the gist of the story is that the GOP, along with other "right winged" connected DC power brokers, plan to assassinate the president and unleash global nuclear carnage, mainly in the middle east. What the hell is wrong with that? The fucking Japs couldn't bow down fast enough at our feet once the Little Boy (Dan Cedar's penis) and the Fat Man (Dan Cedar's distended gut) were unleashed on their rice eating asses. You wipe out half the Muslim population with nukes and sterilize the rest - what do you get? Peace.

Maybe that’s what Hippy Boy…hmmm…hmmm….I mean the GREAT JOHN LENNON was singing about in bed with Yoko the Slopo, with Let’s Give Peace a Chance. He wanted to napalm her ass just as bad as the rest of us did. He just couldn’t leave her, face the camera, and say, “Okay blokes, ya got me. McCartney’s got all the talent…I don’t have the talent to clean his jockstrap."

If you douchebag libs haven't noticed, YOUR idol and cummander in chief is tapping YOUR phone calls and wants to allow killer drones to eliminate American citizens that HE deems a threat…on American soil, no less; YOUR cummunity organizer in chief wants open borders and illegal voters and voter fraud; YOUR career academic refuses to acknowledge Muslim terrorism; YOUR so called "cumstitutional lawyer" wants to take away the second amendment rights WHILE giving Mexican drug cartels American made assault weapons; YOUR racist-in-chief ROUTINELY pits Americans against one another with made up homophobic /misogynistic /racist bullshit fairytales, and sticks his simian nose into local matters instead of doing the job he was elected to do. If you haven’t noticed..That’s King Hippo’s Job!!!

After the producers and writers exhausted every Republican /Conservative /Christian cliché, you would have thought that they could have put the fitting icing on the proverbial cake - Dan Cedar dressed like Stacee Jaxx belting out his version of Europe's The Final Countdown during the closing credits. What a putrid cesspool.

On this, the 50th anniversary of the great Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream Speech', your indentured movie reviewing servant, King Hippo, also has a dream...Save the time walking out the front door of your American made house and you’re your lazy, white American Ass in your favorite American made LAZ Boy chair…watching your American made Zenith Black and White 14 Inch TV with Rabbit Ears…and just put in a good old American Made Sony Beta VHS of Planet of The Apes…The Original One..Dipshit!! Okay, Maybe, it's not a dream. Maybe...quite possibly, that's just the peyote talking.

At the very least, you won't end up with a hollow-point .44 in your gut, for reminding the gentlemen in the row behind you at the local Gigaplex that WATCHING A MOVIE IS NOT A FUCKING INTERACTIVE EVENT AND THEIR RUNNING COMMENTARY IS NOT WHAT YOU PAID $14 FOR AND REMINDING THEM TO "GET A WEBSITE" IF THEY "HAVE MONEY LEFT OVER FROM SELLING CRACK"...MIGHT BE A MORE APPROPRIATE WAY OF EXPRESSING THEIR CACKLING, INFANTILE POINTS OF VIEW!!!"

At the very least....I need some Xanax…let’s face it.

One Naybob

King-dom Cum