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MARVEL COMICS PUBLISHER STAN LEE ROLLS THE DICE


By Ian Specter - Posted on 02 June 2012

In a move in which his admirers are calling "gutsy" and his detractors "homophobic," decades long Marvel Comics’ patriarch Stan Lee announced the unveiling of the first gay-bashing super villain ever to appear in comics. Lee decided that counter measures were needed to take the steam out of DC Comics' decision to introduce the first gay superhero in comics history.

It was a calculated move meant to shift the focus from DC to Marvel. The gamesmanship was at a fever pitch as DC publisher Dan Didio and publisher emeritus Lee privately traded barbs in a heated phone conversation. Anonymous sources reported hearing phrases such as "queer lover" and "pig fucker" during the back and forth. One thing is clear, Adolph Horowitz Hitler aka The Heckler will hit the newsstands in early fall.

A more composed Lee stated at a press conference that the decision opened many new avenues in the Marvel Universe. He even hinted at a Marvel - DC crossover which has been done in the past to great financial success. "Can you imagine the possibilities? Say the Green Lantern is in his civilian Ru Paul outfit marching in a gay rights parade. All of a sudden, he's being mocked by The Heckler. Does his anger cause him to attack him on the spot? Or does he hold his tongue, and after the parade, change into his Green Lantern outfit and track down this piece of work to give him a country ass whipping? Think of the Possibilities!"

Asked about the super villian promoting homophobia and causing more gay bashers in society to "come out of the closet?" Lee retorted with, "Have you seen the average fan-boy? I mean, who reads comics? Basically guys like those tools on The Big Bang Theory. Now do you think The Heckler will cause these no-life dorks to start roaming the streets cursing and pointing at homosexuals? Most of these nimrods have never seen the world outside of their parents' basements."

Queried about the wisdom of his decision, Lee snapped "is this an interview or a kangaroo court?!" "Listen up bitch - I SINGLEHANDEDLY brought Marvel comics back to relevancy back in the mid '60s. Prior to that, the Marvel Golden Age ended after World War II. I was the one to give comic characters lives resembling those of the everyman John Q. Public. I'm doing the same thing here - are you a "DENIER" who lives under a rock and doesn't believe gay bashers exist?!"

"Let me tell you something, Hugh Hefner beat me to the punch by a matter of months. Prior to my decision to work in the comics’ field, I had already created a mockup of what I thought was to be the first nationally distributed men's magazine. Just think, six months is the difference between being asked inane questions by leotard wearing doughboys at comic conventions, and living at the Playboy mansion, tapping any scatterbrained bleached blond bimbo I desired, drunken orgies with celebrities, and walking around in a drug induced daze wearing nothing more than a velveteen smoking coat and house slippers."

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