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GET HIM TO THE GREEK - Aka...Spinal Tap meets Honeymoon in Vegas


By King Hippo - Posted on 17 July 2010

I must admit that I went to this movie daydreaming about my days living the rock n' roll life of excess in the 80's as an unpaid hanger-on. Reality bit me in the ass when the clerk at the box office asked me for $7.50 to see the 11:00 matinee on a Thursday. I said, "Hey dude, it's the first matinee - don't I get the matinee price?" To which he replied, "That is the matinee price, sir."

@*#%!

Out of the right, rear pocket of my - “Made in the USA” Levis - my cheap ass, begrudgingly, pulled a recently purchased leather, chained wallet inscribed with the SS death heads, pried it open with my swastika etched crow bar - that I habitually must use to force open said wallet and posthumously pay retributions to this god-forsaken industry because my semi-Aryan forefathers failed to sufficiently purify the earth – and this industry - during the dozen greatest years of the 20th century.

Coincidentally, these were the years that the great Bing Crosby and Bob Hope put together a string of seven, white-bread Road movies which were being shown in racially segregated theatres across this once great country.

Anyway, Russell Brand reprises his rock god character Aldous Snow from 2008's Forgetting Sarah Marshall, replete with the trappings of narcissism, neuroticism and narcoticism that goes hand in hand with being a has-been rock icon who's career hit the skids after writing and performing his egocentric compact disk masterpiece African Child
- which went on to sell as many copies as Spinal Tap's Smell The Glove...and Dan Cedar's self produced, independently distributed remake of Soft Cell's Tainted Love.

Sometimes, I feel – I’ve got
to – run away….

Sorry, Dan…I don’t pray that way.

Enter Aaron Green (Jonah Hill,) an intern at Pinnacle Records who, during a particularly testy meeting with CEO Sergio Roma (Sean Combs,) suggests that Aldous be brought from England back to the US to perform on the 10th anniversary of a particularly killer concert at the Greek Theater when he was at the peak of his career.
With no other better alternatives to revive records sales, he acquiesces on the condition that Aaron will bring Aldous back to Los Angeles himself.

…and the racially impure bastard of the white-bread road movies is borne.

Aaron spends the trip walking a tightrope of trying to be a good chaperone keeping Aldous on the straight and narrow – while alternately Bogarting every drug that is offered up to his overly-coddled rock star of yesteryear - and not offending Aldous even as he is trying to make the 72 hour deadline on his way to the Greek Theater.

Added to this, Aaron is in the middle of a turf battle with his intern MD girlfriend who told him that they were moving to Seattle for her residency. He utters an all time classic line after the heated discussion about the move - "Are you on your period?" Isn't that always the reason?

A particularly smokin' Rose Byrne plays Aldous' former long time pop diva girlfriend Jackie Q.

What is it about British chicks? They're either a "1" or a "10." There's nothing in between,say, like in the US, where you have the whole spectrum of women. I mean, British chicks either look like Elizabeth Hurley OR Margaret Thatcher - there's NO in-between.

"What's that? Rose Byrne is Australian?"Whatever…

King Hippo is the master of details – in the same way Dan Quayle is the master of spelling.

Rose Byrne in her "African"costume gets five naybobs – even if the movie only gets three.

And Sean Combs? He needs to stick to what his melodically retarded generation refers to as “music”.

Picture a gansta version of lawyer Jackie Chiles of Seinfeld fame. What is it with these hip-hop hacks? Once their two albums of fame are over - they all think that they can act? And our nation of idiots keeps them off the welfare dole. And occasionally out of the penal system.

Back from my digressions...semi-hilarity ensues throughout the movie as Aaron and Aldous make pit stops in New York and Las Vegas before finally getting to the Greek Theater with seconds to spare to a sold out audience.

Hope and Crosby might be rolling over in their graves at what has become of their original franchise. But, here’s to betting that they can’t squeeze six more movies out of this premise.

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