You are hereNew Movie Reviews / THE GUARD - Aka...Why We Watch

THE GUARD - Aka...Why We Watch


By Old Dan Cedar - Posted on 29 January 2012

YOU remember IT don’t you? Or maybe it was several ITS.

That moment or moments that made you realize that YOU were different. YOU weren’t the same as the rest of the dullards and dimwits that just didn’t get IT.

For your humble reviewer Old Dan Cedar there were several transformational moments. The first was January 6, 1947, while distracted from a meandering speech by Harry S. Truman blaring over my father’s Zenith 8H034 radio in my hometown of Mianus, Connecticut…I reached down and happily Christopher Columbused my little pecker…dreaming of my future as a Thomas Dewey Republican.

For King Hippo, my lifelong nemesis and future writing collaborator…it was June 2, 1982 when he realized that his chud-like facial appearance could be easily overcome with a $5 bill clumsily thrust in the spooge encrusted thong of a topless “dancer” wearing copious amounts of Chanel No.5, named “Star”, at Heartbreaker’s Gentlemen’s Club in Dickinson, Texas. With no extra charge for the cottage cheese mud flaps. And The King dreamt of a life-long romance.

Old Dan is not Irish, but I am of Irish descent. And yes, my viewing of The Guard on January 24, 2012, was another of my IT moments.

While watching The Guard, your humble reviewer, Old Dan, dreamily meandered as to why I wanted to begin reviewing movies in the first place. I had just seen Raising Arizona.

It was March 7, 1987, and Sarcastic Movie Reviews.com was not even a glimmer in my eye. But, when I walked out of Raising Arizona, I had an IT moment and knew that I needed to share the greatness of this idiosyncratic movie with unconventional characters that evokes pathos through their struggles.

Whether it was going to be seen…or not…IT needed to be seen.

The Guard must be seen, also.

IT is a story of an Irish cop played brilliantly by Brendan Gleeson. A rapier witted comedy that is unconventional in both sardonic tone and repartee’. Written and Directed by John Michael McDonagh…with both an Irish brogue and temperament.

GO RENT THIS DVD.

IT IS BRILLIANT.

BUT, FAIR WARNING: IT IS NOT FOR YOU DULLARDS AND DIMWITS THAT THINK TINA FEY IS THE SECOND COMING OF LUCILLE BALL.

Put on the closed captioning. Pay attention. And Keep up.

The introduction of Don Cheadle as an American FBI sidekick sent to track down some drug lords makes for a truly laugh-out –loud, irreverent, no sacred cow comedy.

What is it??

Beverly Hills Cop Goes To Ireland, or The Irish Lethal Weapon…Yeah, but better than that. It is good. Like in a dream you can’t believe.

Much like November 22, 1963 was when I sat in on my first city council meeting in Mianus, Connecticut.

I was mesmerized. That day changed my life forever. I found out what true public service was… listening to the city council and mayor drone on endlessly about Camelot lost.

And I dreamed on further into the future…

I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making Mianus a place where all parents are strong and wise and capable. And all the children are happy and beloved.

If not Mianus, then a land not too far away.

I don’t know.

Maybe, it was Utah.

Or maybe, it was just fuckin’ Ireland.

Pathos, my arse.

Movie Rating System

Search

Cool Site of the Day!



We are proud to be the Cool Site of the Day!

Vote for us in the voting frame at Cool Site of the Day!

In The News

PALIN PLANS FOR FUTURE - MONEY SHOT!!

Wasilla, AK - Today, soon to be ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, announced more specifics on her puzzling decision to step down from her role as governor of Alaska.

Appearing at a press conference, that was ripe with double entendre, and fully heightened in four inch red, high heels, a black pleather mini-skirt and a white, ruffled, half-unbuttoned blouse – “Caribou Barbie” as some have dubbed her, came out with ordnance ablaze.

more...