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MOONRISE KINGDOM - Aka...Romeo and Juliet Meets Lake Wobegon

By King Hippo - Posted on 07 October 2012

Knowing that this was a Wes Anderson flick, I was prepared for the quirky, the funny, and mundane. I was not disappointed. An ensemble cast resembling that perfect MLB playoff team of rookies, stars and seasoned veterans. All we are missing were the hot scantily clad cheerleaders on the sidelines...what's that? There are no cheerleaders in professional baseball? Well, fuck! When did they get rid of them?!?! Maybe, I should spend more time listening to Garrison Keillor gloriously recite Shakespeare.

Oh well, teen-aged actress Kara Hayward more than makes up for that. Her perfect mix of angst, rebellion, and sensuality reminds me of Dan Cedar's junior high days. When, after attending the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, he started each new school year in full makeup and female drag, only to gimp home after the first day with a black eye, bloody lip, torn dress, and sideways wig, carrying his patent leather pumps with the heels broken off; muttering, "How did they know?" Could it be that when each teacher took roll and called out "Dan Cedar," the ugliest 'girl' in the class raised her hand and that deep masculine voice, said, "Here!"

Hayward plays Suzy, our Emma Watson look a-like heroine, and Jared Gilman portrays Sam, our Dan Cedar look-alike metro-sexual tea-bagger. After a year of correspondence and mutual commiseration, they decide to escape their respective "prisons" together during one summer while Sam is on the island where Suzy's parents have a vacation home.

Fortunately, Sam is an ace Khaki Scout (no doubt inclusive of ALL sexual orientations, this being set on the much more "open minded" east coast of the United States), and Suzy has a portable record player. Mmmmm, vintage vinyl...reminds me of my misspent youth trying to fathom the back masking message of my favorite Starship song, “We Built This City”.

The plot then revolves around our star crossed lovers dodging and weaving the various entities trying to find them as they make their escape off the island. Although, I have always enjoyed Old Dan Cedar’s out titties. Especially the way they jiggle when he is off-roading in his cherry-red Rascal.

Suzy's parents, the local police, and the whole troop of Khaki Scouts find our duo's campsite. Sam zips open the fly of their tent only to find the entire group standing there peering at them. Bill Murray (Suzy's father’s) expression is priceless when he sees that his daughter is clad only in her panties and bra. As the wayward couple is frog-marched back to their respective homes, the rest of the Khaki Scouts decide to abet Sam and Suzy's escape off the island.

It’s sublime. Just like when you discern for the first time what hidden message is being dealt to the audiophile upon the reverse listening to that greatest of all rock and roll songs from Starship…

"He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge"

"And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge".

Pretty Fucking Deep, Huh? And you dullards just thought Marconi was playing the Mamba?

The Mamba is a fucking snake…Duh!!

I have to excuse myself, now.

“Wait. Wait…Don’t Tell Me”, is about to air on my local NPR station and I have to make sure that I can keep up with the upcoming witty banter at the water cooler. It’s especially intense on Columbus Day.

Not even NPR waits for The King.

Four Naybobs

King Hippo

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