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SHERLOCK HOLMES - A GAME OF SHADOWS - Aka Sherlock and Watson: A Game of Homos…No Shit!


By Old Dan Cedar - Posted on 03 March 2012

Wasn't My Own Private Idaho’ andBrokeback Mountainenough? Now, instead of the Queer Nation's in-your-face, rub-your-nose-in-it blatant fag worship, we have to start watching this subliminal crap. So now we find out that Sherlock Holmes' brother is a queer; Sherlock is a cross dressing transvestite; and countless times we see Sherlock and Watson in full-fledged embraces and nose to nose contact. I'm sure the post Victorian era so openly embraced this kind of out-of-the-closet flamboyancy. Hey Guy Ritchie! Is all this really necessary? Is this why that no talent skank Madonna left your limey ass?

Actually, this movie is about out doing every other action flick before and after. In fact, the action is the sole point of this movie.

I always thought that Sherlock Holmes was more about subtlety and deductive sleuthing. He always seemed to me to be more of the Columbo type than the Dirty Harry type. Hard to imagine the Lieutenant Cyclops riffing, “Uhhh, one more thing sir…I know what you’re thinking: Did he fire six shots, or only five? Well,to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well do ya, punk? Would
you like to make my day?”

And while the cinematography is quite breathtaking,it's one action scene after another. Even the Indiana Jones movies had some quiet, contemplative moments - like when Dan Cedar is trying to decide which bestiality movie he wants to watch for the eightieth time.

You know, I used to think that Robert Downey Jr. was a pretty good actor. But he's becoming another Gene Hackman, Tom Cruise or Nicolas Cage - only his shtick is the charming, wise-cracking cad as opposed to Cage's high functioning manic retard, Cruise's one dimensional manic spaz, and Hackman's generic, demoralized everyman. At least Hackman can play an asshole once in a while. Maybe that’s why I feel a kindred spirit.

One bright spot in this pile of shit is redhead, Jared Harris, who more than capably plays Holmes' arch rival Professor Moriarty, and who was finally dispensed over a waterfall by Holmes in the closing moments of the film.

I can already see the sequel: Sherlock Holmes - The Return of The Ginger.

Starring, Eric Cartman. Holding two .44 Magnum’s simultaneously to both Moriarty and to Kyle’s head and muttering, “I know your kind think’s it’s the Sabbath and all. And it’s Friday and it’s dark. So, do you feel lucky, punks? Or are you gonna ask yourself one question? ‘Father, why have you forsaken me?' And make me pull these triggers.

And then one of you guys comes back to life and starts freakin’ the good people of South Park out on Sunday afternoon – right in the middle of Tim Tebow bringin’ back the Broncos from fourteen points down?

Well, to tell you the truth, with all of this Tebow excitement. I won’t discriminate whether you are a Zionist or a Ginger.

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!

PUNKS!!!

You, Ginger... .run down the street and fetch me the biggest bag of blow you can find...and You, Stan The Jew...relieve me of this Standing Hampton.

THE GAME IS AFOOT!!!"

Three Naybobs

King Hip

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