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STAR TREK - Aka… Yes, another one.


By King Hippo - Posted on 27 May 2009

A disclaimer: I think "Trekkies" are the biggest bunch of no-life LOSERS to inhabit the planet or the galaxy... and this coming from me, King Hippo, who collects comic books! You can't imagine the number of times I was conned into going to a Star Trek movie and stood aghast at the idiots who came to see the movie dressed up like their favorite Star Trek character. On the other hand, I was quite proud to dress up like Frank n’ Furter every Friday night for the extravagant re-creation of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at my local Cineplex.

Or the time I was lassoed and dragged kicking and screaming to a Star Trek convention... It ain’t exactly a Menses convention. Dr. Crusher looked pretty fucking hot tho... You can only imagine — people that would even consider hanging out with me.

I also never thought much of the low budget original TV series and subsequent whoring out of the Star Trek franchise to spin offs. A couple of the early movies were ok, and one TV episode written by Harlan Ellison was pretty good, but the cheap sets and overacting and my overall lack of interest in Sci Fi did me in. If you know who Harlan Ellison is — it is time to get you over to play Dungeons and Dragons with me and my closest buddies. We are all wearing our footsy PJs.

This brings me to the review of the latest Star Trek movie. I can't believe I'm saying this but it's actually pretty damn good. The movie focuses on the "origins" of Spock, Uhura, Kirk, Chekov, Scotty and Sulu — all worked around a plotline of time travel and revenge by an outlaw Romulan played by Eric Bana.

One of the reasons why the movie works is the no-name cast which pulls off some solid acting without the overacting so prevalent in Sci Fi movies or for that matter, anything with Bill Shatner. The Captain Kirk one liners and the rest of the crews' quirks are perfectly timed and wonderfully restrained in this edition, giving the movie believability while at the same time giving the characters a positive identity.

The special effects are on par with the best. The space to atmosphere sky dive and subsequent landing on a platform 20 feet in diameter got my acrophobia going full blast. It is also good to see that the metric system hasn’t quite made it into deep space.
Spock's "gyro rocket" is one of the coolest spacecraft I've ever seen in a movie.
My only quibble was the Spock-Uhura bi-esophageal tongue dive every time you turn around. What the HELL? Spock would be much more professional than that. We already "get" the fact that he's half human...we don't need Starfleet's HR department involved.

The only other distraction I had was with helmsman John Cho who played the young Sulu. For the uninformed, Cho played Harold in all of the "Harold and Kumar" movies. I kept waiting for Sulu to go missing and Kirk finding him holed-up in a bathroom stall sparking up a Cheech and Chong sized doobie.

As much as I hate to do this... 4 Naybobs

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