You are herePast Movie Reviews / THE READER - Aka...The Yawner

THE READER - Aka...The Yawner


By Ian Specter - Posted on 03 April 2009


Synopsis - Sickie Boy (Harry Longfellow) meets Sicko Nazi (Ina Illiterate).

Both in Heat - Sparks fly. Read books. Lots of bathing. Bike Ride.

Mr. Smarty-Pants with the 180 IQ can’t figure out she is a moron.

Duhh!!

HL thinks - hmmm –“I can put my Jimmy Dean to use on some younger frau –hmmm – How about that one there -sans pit hair.”

Nazi is promoted, but is embarrassed she can’t read -so she leaves HL.

HL"Whaaaaa - Nobody loves me"!! "But the good news is that I can use this as an excuse for the rest of my life!!"

Law School - HL still has a crush on II and knows that she is no more culpable than the rest of the nazis. But his daddy was mean and he was molested. Whaaa!!

Off to prison and a divorce for the other. Yawn. Who cares when you don’t have a protagonist!! No – that isn’t a question!!

In comes Mr. Fiennes - competing with Perry Como for the most boring man on screen. - Big or
Small.

Oh, Good!!- Now he will do something exciting on screen. How about- read 300 books into a tape. FASCINATING!! Orson Welles is rolling over in his grave.

Fast Forward 200 years. Not that fast.

The Nazi can finally read and write. Should he answer her letters? No- " Whhaaaa - nobody loves me- I am tormented. I still have an excuse....blah blah blah".

Fast Forward 200 more years- and he finally shows the balls that came with the Tube Snake.

HL - Shows up to prison with no empathy and a job. Glory – Halleluiah!!

Now this part passes as irony –
She climbs up on a stack of books and hangs herself.
Somebody, HANG ME NOW!!

Wait, not yet!! He has to bare his soul to his kid. “The reason I have been a rotten dad is …..” You know the routine.

And there you have it – a movie that all the literate snobs can point to as literate.

“And the Oscar goes to….”

JT - Johnny Tirade

Movie Rating System

Search

Cool Site of the Day!



We are proud to be the Cool Site of the Day!

Vote for us in the voting frame at Cool Site of the Day!

In The News

PALIN PLANS FOR FUTURE - MONEY SHOT!!

Wasilla, AK - Today, soon to be ex-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, announced more specifics on her puzzling decision to step down from her role as governor of Alaska.

Appearing at a press conference, that was ripe with double entendre, and fully heightened in four inch red, high heels, a black pleather mini-skirt and a white, ruffled, half-unbuttoned blouse – “Caribou Barbie” as some have dubbed her, came out with ordnance ablaze.

more...