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WIN WIN - Aka...Jeff Spicoli Joins The Wrestling Team


By Old Dan Cedar - Posted on 21 July 2011

Reciprocity is the key to any successful relationship. Just look at the symbol for Yin Yang. Looks like to me that they are two amoeba fellatiating each other. A Win Win situation.

Such is life.

That is the key message in this, here movie - Win Win.

We’re all looking out for number one, right? The only people that don’t know this are the communists, movie stars and graduate degree elitists. Oh, yeah, and that, there fellow currently occupying the White House and his cronies.

At least that is what they PREACH.

Unless THEY or their Storm Troopers at The Scooter Store WANT SOMETHING.

Like their guaranteed Medicare-approved (e.g. free) devices – “dedicated to helping you regain your mobility”.

What did you say? “NOTHING IS FREE!!”

NO SHIT??

YOU know it and I know it.

Sure, I want to lay back and get an esophageal member massage from my beckon call girl, but we all know that I don’t have that kind of gash-cash.

And I know my wife IS NOT going to roll over and turn off the porn - eight seconds after my banana juice shoots to the back of her head and my eyes roll to the back of mine without something in return.

Anyway…Paul Giammati is playing the same role he always does. Middle-Aged, white guy, tormented, confused, quirky and funny. Which works better as a wrestling coach than as, say, a noted father of our country.

Excuse me…did you say John Adams rode through the wine country – shitfaced and looking for pussy?.Yeah, I didn’t think so.

But the REAL star borne here - is our teenage angst wrestler, Alex Shaffer, who before acting the wrestler – actually was a state champion wrestler in New Jersey at age 17. Old Dan is thinking this guy could follow in the Spiccoli’s Van-clad footsteps – grow up to be a left-winged nut job and titty fuck Scarlett Johansson before casting his left-winged junk juice on her palatable cleft chin.

But what the hell do I know?

I just am looking for an excuse to work Stephen Hawking into this review and I think Mr. Hawking is just extremely fucking lazy.

I don’t want to get off on a Dennis-Miller-type of rant here, but that fucking “disease” of his - killed the greatest first baseman OF ALL TIME in LESS THAN 2 years, but has done NOTHING MORE to a “theoretical physicist” than put him in a retinal-guided scooter for NIGH-ON 50 YEARS?

ALS my ass!! It’s called LAZY ass, Mr. Hawking!!!

But, again, I digress…In Win Win, Paul Giamatti plays a lawyer/wrestling coach whose life has been torn asunder by the ass whipping that we men call – BEING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS!! What a fucking surprise!!

He has lost his edge.

He has lost his swagger.

He sees his control over his surroundings slipping. That, of course, leads him to taking some moral shortcuts. He starts talking himself into compromising his integrity by grabbing some easy money, which, as always, seems harmless enough.

Things get complicated when a Jeff Spicoli-type (without the pot) lands on his doorstep.

Turns out the kid brings baggage; he was brung up wrong by his Ma, and he has a hankering for nocturnal nicotine AND wrestling high school talent.

The movie meanders its way through a fish out of water story prior to the unapproved Planned Parenthood method of contraception - (pulling out just before the semi-sappy ending).

Now. Face Down. Ass Up. I will eat the salad. You eat the dog.

Welcome to Recipro City.

Population: 2.

Just like the movie – it’s a Win Win situation. But it’s a little work for both of us.

Except for you Mr. Hawking. Just lay back and let your THIRD WIFE orally expunge your semi-sappy ending while she humps herself to fruition on your Medicare approved scooter with its phallic shaped joy stick. You might just make sure she scrubs down the joy stick with antibacterial wet wipes and Lysol.

I hear there is a new drug resistant strain of gonorrhea making the rounds.

Of course, if ALS didn’t kill your ass – I am damn sure you will live until this NASA-hating United States has kicked this Kenyan can of shit to the curb and is back in space – exploring Mars and conducting a fourth war in the Middle East.

And I am sure that Mr. Hand won’t mind if you retinally order a pizza from the creature comforts of your electronic Lazy Boy and have a little snack during his class. Huhhh…Huhhh!!

And, not that she is in this movie, but when the fuck did Phoebe Cates get so FUCKING FAT?? I am betting THAT is why Judge Reinhold needs his Mexican Viagra these days.

Dan Cedar

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